Freakiest "Telemarketer" Call Ever

>> Monday, September 10, 2012

Wah? Is it September already?

Well, never mind that. In theory, my phone and cell phone numbers are both on Federal do not call lists. Now, when this idea first came out, getting on the list made a real difference. Telemarketing calls fell to nothing and I could answer my phone with joy and some expectation that (a) there would be a person on the other end and (b) it might even be someone I wanted to talk to.

Although I reupped after five years, the effectivity of this do not call list to keep people (and machines) I don't want to talk to from calling me seem pretty nearly nil. Part of the reason for that is because I don't live isolated on a mountain and keep my money in mattress, while eating only the local fruits and berries. Because I have ANY interactions with ANY vendors, creditors, work-related venues, charities, banks, or information-related associations, ANYONE those folks associate with can apparently call me with impunity. Charities are particularly brazen and WILL NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER, don't care for excuses and will forcefully put you down for a pledge unless you threaten violence. Since one that's particularly persistent is the Trooper's Association, I think I'm right to be in fear for my life (kidding... mostly).

I don't like when my own banks and creditors call with some great new idea that will cost me more dough, but I REALLY don't like it when some completely I've-never-even-heard-of-them company calls me because, as a retired person, I want to know about the latest in walkers. Folks, I'm not even 45 yet. Which you MIGHT know if you actually had any sort of REAL BUSINESS with me.

But I digress.

Tonight, I got the weirdest one *I* personally have yet had. Naturally, it was a recording, recorded, I might add with the same over-the-top energy and volume of the most obnoxious used car salesman. And what is this enthusiastic voice after? Why "he" (I don't think I caught his name, but I'm not sure he even pitched it) wants to pray for me since I'm going through one of the toughest times of my life. He has a huge prayer group, missing only me, and he wants to pray for me with the thousands of others he prays for. All I have to do is (no, seriously), give him my credit card information so he'll have the information he needs to pray for me. I'd as soon (sooner, in fact) give that kind of information to a phone sex line. At least then I'd be entertained.

I kid you not.

Now, don't get me wrong. I have no objection to people praying for me. I appreciate it, in fact. If there are a smattering of people who pray for me in the sense that they "pray I come to my senses and accept Jesus the way they think I ought to," I know there are many others of my friends and family who wish me only well and pray to their Heavenly patron(ess)(es) for my well-being. [I have relatives who are ordained pagan priestesses, after all]. And I don't find that the slightest bit offensive. I pray to my personal view of god for those who are suffering that I care about, too, and I wouldn't do so if I thought there'd be the slightest harm to them for doing so, even if our religions are diametrically opposed. Good thoughts, like love, well, I don't think there can be too much of that going around.

However, someone concerned on my behalf and praying for well-being and someone who uses a machine to call strangers with offers to pray for them (among thousands) for a price are two completely separate things. And one smells distinctly worse than the other. And I grieve for anyone so desperate or lonely that they would think any crass creature like this would have a direct line to "God" and can get them special deals for his thousands of followers thanks to his connections. I think that's what upsets me the most, that there are people who get sucked into shit like this. It probably won't surprise you to find I'm not a big fan of televangelists, either.

Really, for someone suffering, try to find your own path to God, whoever that may be. If he/she/they exist (and I personally think he/she/they do), they're much more likely to listen to you than some stranger who doesn't even know you. Or, if you prefer, forge your own path alone if that makes you stronger.

But a yahoo like the one that had a machine call me, he's a crook, plain and simple.


  • Relax Max

    Well, you can think what you want. But, personally, I am going to be asking for credit card info in the future before I pray for anyone. It just makes sense and I don't know why I haven't thought of that before. So far, all I've done is mail out prayer cloths to doners of $100 or more, or blessed prayer cloths (from the Holy Land) for donations over $250. Got that one from Vicar Ezra. I'm sure you don't remember him.

  • Stephanie Barr

    Note to self: Don't give Relax Max my phone number.

  • Shakespeare

    Or any other information, for that matter.

    Dante had a place in hell for people who claimed to intercede for others with God (for a fee). He had other places in hell for people who corrupted faith in other ways, devising a sorts of tortures for them.

    While I don't see hell in this way (and I'd love to explain my own view some day), the idea isn't lost on me. Nothing is more upsetting than when creeps use what should be a beautiful, loving thing and turn it into something rancid and corrupt. Very sad. And it's the most vulnerable who are hurt by this, too. And the rest of us have to fight to remain in faith when we see this awful crap happening.

  • Roy

    Since I left Newport my only phone has been my cell; when I finally got my own apartment again last December I decided not to get a land line and just stick with the cell phone. My incidence of telemarketer calls has gone down significantly. Most of them are area code 360, so when my phone rings and I see that, I don't answer, or hit the "ignore" slider on my smart phone. Of course, most of those calls come when I'm at work and have my phone in silent mode, so I miss them altogether. They rarely go to the voicemail, and those that do are either so low volume that you can't hear them, or silent for a few seconds before the computer on the other end figures out that nobody answered the call. This is why I'm happy I made the decision not to get a land line again!

  • Stephanie Barr

    Shakespeare, I don't claim to be a Bible scholar, but the only recollection I have of Christ "losin' it" was against people who were trying to profit off the faith of others. Or that's what I recall.

    Roy, I forgot to mention this WAS my cellphone, which is one reason it irked me so much. For the most part, my cell hasn't had nearly as many telemarketing calls but some political organization has grabbed its number and calls to poll me politically a couple of times a day. Yikes!

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