>> Saturday, January 9, 2010
We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe.
- Johann von Goethe
Sir, you pride yourself on an ability in which any ignorant barbarian is your equal and any jackass immeasurably your superior.
- John Randolph
He was so narrow minded, he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.
- Molly Ivins
Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
- Groucho Marx
She was like a sinking ship firing on the rescuers.
- Alexander Woollcott
He was one of the nicest old ladies I ever met.- William Faulkner
You had to stand in line to hate him.
- Hedda Hopper
He's the only guy I know whom Dale Carnegie would hit in the mouth.
- Bill Veeck
The last time I saw him he was walking down Lover's Lane holding his own hand.
- Fred Allen
You can always tell when he's lying - his lips move.
- Frankie Howard on Richard M. Nixon
Statistics indicate that as a result of overwork, modern executives are dropping like flies on the nation's golf courses.
- Ira Wallach
A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
- Joan Rivers
He had delusions of adequacy.
I feel so miserable without you ; it's almost like having you here.
He is a self-made man and worships his creator.
He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.
He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.
Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
I wish I could drink like a lady,
I'll have one or two at the most.
Three and I'm under the table,
Four and I'm under the host.
You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.
Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Hocus Pocus
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.
There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
--Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
Many people hear voices when no-one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stare at the walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing.
- Meg Chittenden
If fear alters behavior, you're already defeated.
- Brenda Hammond
A wise man fights to win, but he is twice a fool who has no plan for possible defeat.
- Louis L'Amour, 1908 - 1988
Most men are within a finger's breadth of being mad.
--Diogenes the Cynic
A man has only one escape from his old self — to see a different self in the mirror of some woman's eyes.
-Clare Booth Luce
Don't leave the planet to the stupid.
-Slogan for Solon AG (a solar engineering company)
I have the most ill-regulated memory. It does those things which it ought not to do and leaves undone the things it ought to have done. But it has not yet gone on strike altogether.
That ought to do it.