Bad Blogger

>> Saturday, January 14, 2012

If you're someone who frequents any one of my three blogs, you've probably noticed that I have not been a good blogger the past few months.

Truth is, I'm still struggling with some things, perhaps more than I should. I tend to have a good head in a crisis and I've been somewhat self-congratulatory that, with the dissolution of the life and future I thought I'd had, I hadn't been more broken up or shut down emotionally. Despite the rather drastic changes, the easy way my soon-to-be ex-husband brushes off our life together, I've been handling the practical aspects and the paperwork because, hey, I'm always responsible for those. For Lee, divorce was instantaneous and painless. Still, I was managing. I thought, "Damn, I'm handling this pretty well."

Well, the practical, handle-the-details coolheadedness I needed to do what needed to be done seems to be wearing off, and the reality of the situation is making me a bit less than practical at the moment. Lee said Friday, "Get over it already," and I realized, I hadn't gotten over it at all, that the past decade of romance I tried so valiantly to believe in was largely in my own mind, as ephemeral as anything I put on paper.  And I haven't really let that sink in.

Pathetic. Humiliating. Meaning I'm not, I fear, good company at all.

So, folks, I'm afraid you'll have to bear with me a bit longer until I'm a little bit less basket-case-ish and have come to grips with what my life has become. Hopefully, I'll show up with a good topic, something less pitiful.

Sorry.









3 comments:

  • Roy
     

    Take your time, Steph. We can wait.

  • Project Savior
     

    I've never gone through a divorce, but I've had my life yanked out from under me so I kind of know what you are going through.
    It is easy to get overwhelmed and lose track of the things you can control and can't. Remember to stop sometimes and take a deep breath and relax. As for the blog, I'll wait or read any post you put up if you need to vent. Just remember you have friends.

  • Shakespeare
     

    I'd say what I think of Lee and his comment, but I don't tend to swear that crudely in writing.

    But I'm thinking it. Hard.

    Good thing I can't see him with my own eyes, for his hair would burn off.

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