RS Classic: Saturday Quote-a-Thon With a Twist

I like quotes in general. but I also like quotes that look like they’re going to say one thing and then kind of twist it into something else. Naturally, I have bunches of these and I’m going to include some today.

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
–Dwight D. Eisenhower

The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.
–Ralph Waldo Emerson

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
–Scott Adams

We easily forget that smog is the price of freedom of our streets from manure, and from the flies and diseases it brought.
–Daniel Boorstin

By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely overwhelm me.
–Ashleigh Brilliant

Successful organizations are programmed to eat their own brains: it’s called bureaucracy and it’s the evil offspring of Operations and Accounting. It’s the silent killer of organizations; they become enfeebled before noticing that something’s gone wrong.
–Dale Dauten

I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
–W.C. Fields

Ability will never catch up to the demand for it.
–Malcolm Forbes

Accident: Always “regrettable” or “unlucky” — as if a mishap might sometimes be a cause for rejoicing.
–Gustave Flaubert

I think it would be an excellent idea. (When asked what he thought of Western civilization)
–Mohandas Gandhi

My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group. There was much less competition there.
— Indira Gandhi

Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell.
— Edward Abbey

Adventure is the result of poor planning.
— Col. Blatchford Snell

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.
— Erica Jong

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
— Wes Izzard

A friend of mine told me to shoot first and ask questions later. I was going to ask him why, but I had to shoot him.
— John Wayne

A grain of wisdom is worth an ounce of knowledge, which is worth a ton of data.
— Neil Larson

A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep.
— Saul Bellow

A high-school teacher, after all, is a person deputized by the rest of us to explain to the young what sort of world they are living in, and to defend, if possible, the part their elders are playing in it.
— Emile Capouya

A hole is nothing at all, but you can break your neck in it.
— Austin O’Malley

Alcohol is a good preservative for everything but brains.
— Mary Pettibone Poole

All bad precedents began as justifiable measures.
— Julius Caesar

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
— Red Skelton

All my life I wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific.
— Jane Wagner

All things are possible until proved impossible — and even the impossible may only be so as of now.
— Pearl S. Buck

A man can fail many times but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame someone else.
— Waite Phillips

Americans are people who laugh at African witch doctors and spend 100 million dollars on fake reducing systems.
— L.L. Levinson

An error doesn’t become a mistake until you refuse to correct it.
— Orlando A. Battista