Saturday Quote-a-thon: Dregs Part 1

OK, I'm running low on my quotes, which isn't a bother, per se. It's a big enough list that I could probably start over without too much trouble and few would notice, but I think I want to add more. So, I'll probably make an effort to do so.

In the meantime, here are some of the stragglers of the existing set.

Martin's acting is so inept that even his impersonation of a lush seems unconvincing.
- Harry Medved, on Dean Martin

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
- Fred Allen

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
- Ashleigh Brilliant

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.
- Oscar Levant

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

I worship the quicksand he walks in.
- Art Buchwald

An Actor is someone whom, if you aren't talking about him, he isn't listening.
- Marlon Brando

He got a reputation as a great actor by just thinking hard about the next line.
- King Vidor, on Gary Cooper

He's the type of man who will end up dying in his own arms.
- Mamie Van Doren on Warren Beatty

Who among us has not gazed thoughtfully and patiently at a painting of Jackson Pollock and thought "What a piece of crap?"
- Rob Long

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
- George Bernard Shaw

I had no idea Stravinsky disliked Debussy as much as this.
- Ernest Newman, on Stravinsky's "Symphony of Wind Instruments" in memory of Debussy

When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.
- Bob Hope, on Jack Benny

Michael Jackson was a poor black boy who grew up to be a rich white woman.
- Molly Ivins

Michael Jackson's album was only called "Bad" because there wasn't enough room on the sleeve for "Pathetic."
- The Artist Formerly Known as Prince

Somebody should clip Sting around the head and tell him to stop using that ridiculous Jamaican accent.
- Elvis Costello, on Sting

Always willing to lend a hand to the one above him.
- F. Scott Fitzgerald, on Ernest Hemmingway

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
-Clarence Darrow

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain

Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass.
-Mark Twain

That's probably enough. Leaves me a few dregs for next week.