Saturday Quote-a-thon: Pets

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OK, I've been sick AND had to go to a wedding where I sang (not easy to do with an upper respiratory infection), so I'm going to make it easy on myself. Today, here are some quotes about pets.

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
--Doug Larsen

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water.
-- Indian Proverb

Of all the [cat] toys available, none is better designed than the owner himself. A large multipurpose plaything, its parts can be made to move in almost any direction. It comes completely assembled and it makes a sound when you jump on it.
-- Stephen Baker

To even mention all the things the bird must constantly keep in mind in order to fly securely through the air would take a considerable part of the evening... The bird has learned this art of equilibrium, and learned it so thoroughly that its skill is not apparent to our sight. We only learn to appreciate it when we try to imitate it.
-Wilbur Wright

Perhaps God made cats so that man might have the pleasure of fondling the tiger…
-Robertson Davies

I think all cats are wild. They only act tame if there's a saucer of milk in it for them.
-Douglas Adams

Cat — A soft indestructible automaton provided by Nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.
-Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”

Authors like cats because they are such quiet, lovable, wise creatures, and cats like authors for the same reasons.
Robertson Davies

My cat] Nameless and I have an agreement: I leave her alone and don't make sudden moves when I wake up to find her perched on my chest, staring with an unblinking hostile gaze at my face and in return she rarely mutilates me.
-James Nicoll

No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
-Abraham Lincoln

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
-Jeff Valdez

In ancient times, cats were worshiped as gods. They have never forgotten this.
-Terry Pratchett

A cat knows exactly what you are, and treats you accordingly.
-Unknown

I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
-August Strindberg, “A Madman’s Diary”

A dog will make eye contact. A cat will, too, but a cat’s eyes don’t even look entirely warm-blooded to me, whereas a dog’s eyes look human except less guarded. A dog will look at you as if to say, “What do you want me to do for you? I’ll do anything for you.” Whether a dog can in fact, do anything for you if you don’t have sheep (I never have) is another matter. The dog is willing.
-Roy Blount, Jr. "Dogs Vis-A-Vis Cats,” Now Where Were We?

Adoor is that which a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
-Ogden Nash

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
-Sue Murphy

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
-Roger Caras

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
-Ann Landers

Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
-Mark Twain

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.
-Alfred North Whitehead

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
-Mark Twain

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money.
-Joe Weinstein

A Yorkie is a dog about the size of a walnut, but with less brain and more hair.
-Dave Barry

Everyone's heard of Erwin Schrodinger's famous thought experiment. You put a cat in a box with a bottle of poison, which many people would suggest is about as far as you need to go.
-Terry Pratchett

And that should do it.