Saturday Quotathon: Family and Ancestors

It's Father's Day so let's make today's quotes all about family. And, if you still have your father (I do not), let him know how you feel about him.

I'll bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at the stork.
- Irving Brecher

The idea of Prince Charles conversing with vegetables is not quite so amusing when you remember that he's had plenty of practice chatting to members of his own family.
- Jaci Stephens

I'd like to thank my family for loving me and taking care of me. And the rest of the world can kiss my ass.
- Johnny Frank Garrett, Sr., executed by injection, Texas

The reason people blame things on the previous generations is that there's only one other choice.
--Doug Larsen

My grandson, 22 years old, keeps complaining about headaches, I've told him a thousand times, Larry, when you get out of bed, it's feet first.
--Henny Youngman

Authority without wisdom is like a heavy ax without an edge, fitter to bruise than polish.
-- Anne Bradstreet

I hate to do it, but it looks like I'm going to have to file a big lawsuit against my parents for turning me into a pathetic, spoiled, whiney-ass, refuse-to-take-responsibility crybaby.
-- Ken Gacioch

Making the decision to have a child is momentous -- it is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
-- Elizabeth Stone

Man is still the best computer that we can put aboard a spacecraft -- and the only one that can be mass-produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher Von Braun

Most of us ask for advice when we know the answer but we want a different one.
-- Ivern Ball

A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.
-- Greek proverb

Ayame: (Takes Yuki's hand in his) Yuki, while I'm here this is the PERFECT chance for us to deepen our bond as brothers-
Yuki: I have a better idea- why don't I drown you in the lake?
Ayame: Anything you want, as long as it gives us some quality time together!
Yuki: On second thought, go drown yourself!
-From Fruits Basket anime

Mel: Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody would miss you.
-From Clueless

Willie Wang: Pop?
Sidney Wang: Yeah?
Willie Wang: Who do you think is the murderer?
Sidney Wang: Must sleep on it. Will know in morning when wake up.
Willie Wang: What if you don't wake up?
Sidney Wang: Then you did it.
-From Murder by Death

Chris Knight: I'm sorry, but have you ever seen a body like this before in your life?
David Decker: She happens to be my daughter.
Chris Knight: Oh. Then I guess you have.
-From Real Genius

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- Gautama Buddha

Even as the fingers of the two hands are equal, so are human beings equal to one another. No one has any right, nor any preference to claim over another. You are brothers.
- Muhammad

The natural man has only two primal passions, to get and to beget.
-William Osler, M.D.

A great teacher never strives to explain his vision—he simply invites you to stand beside him and see for yourself.
-The Rev. R. Inman

There can only be peace when they will start to love their children more than they hate us.
-Golda Meir

I remember when I was a child, being taken to the celebrated Barnum's Circus, which contained an exhibition of freaks and monstrosities, but the exhibit on the program which I most desired to see was the one described as "The Boneless Wonder". My parents judged that the spectacle would be too demoralizing and revolting for my youthful eye and I have waited fifty years, to see the The Boneless Wonder sitting on the Treasury Bench.
- Winston Churchill, on Ramsay MacDonald

Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee later than others.
- Kin Hubbard

I miss you, Dad.