Ain't Nobody's Business

On the last post I pointed out one way (of many) that failing to legally recognize same-sex marriage hurts the people in question. I have, to date, never heard anything approaching a compelling argument on the harm caused by recognizing same sex marriage. Feel free to include your compelling reason in a comment if you'd like, but note that I'm apt to rebut and the level of sarcasm is inversely proportional to the intelligence of your reason. If you have a thoughtful well-reasoned reason, my answer, though likely counter, will be similarly thoughtful. (Note that anything religious as a reason is a null answer for legality as far as I'm concerned.)

If it's asinine, expect no gentleness. Consider yourself duly warned. I believe everyone is entitled to express his/her opinion and to live with the consequences of that expression, including ridicule if it's stupid enough. Just because everyone can state an opinion does not make those opinions of equal worth or veracity. I'm sick to death of readily disproved nonsense being trotted forward and given credence no matter how idiotic because we are all afraid of calling nonsense what it is in this world of free speech. I am willing to back my opinions with data and examples and logic. If you can't do the same, you might want to rethink airing it in this forum.

Note also that the subject at hand is "right to marry and legal sanctions against gays." People can find same-sex sex as personally distasteful as they like as long as they don't express said opinions by force or use them to discriminate. As soon as you use your opinion to cause harm, I lose all sympathy with your free speech. I'm sure that snuggling up to a big-breasted woman or a beefy hunk o' man turns the stomach of various members of the gay and lesbian community, but I've never heard of any pushing to make it illegal. Or even trying to convert anyone.

It would certainly be easier on most of them if they were straight; they're not because, well, they're not. And I think most of them consider their state immutable, a part of who they are. They don't want to deny themselves who they are; I don't think they should have to.

Anyway, I've digressed mightily from my original point (stupid soapbox!), which was examining what Shakespeare commented on the last post and my reply to her. There were two aspects. One was that people are born gay/straight. I've read some compelling evidence, genetically, that argues that can be true. I don't know if it's true for everyone who considers themselves gay, if people are always born one way or the other or if some aren't hardwired and can change direction over time. I don't see why it matters. People are individuals and genetics are pretty complicated; maybe there's more than one right answer. I can tell you one thing; far more people have experimented with the notion at one time in their life than will readily admit it. I did, and, though I'm quite firmly in the heterosexual camp, I don't regret it. And that's all I'm going to say on the matter for me personally.

But I think "the cause" is beside the  point. Whether you're gay because your physiology gives you little choice or whether you just like it like that, who should care? Some do, I know, because they want to "cure" it, but, since I don't have any interest in doing so, I don't care if you were born to be gay, if you were traumatized by someone of the opposite sex (or even your own) and that triggered your preference, if you happened across your same-sex soulmate and switched, or if you chose your sexual orientation with a drunken bout of darts.

Ain't none of my business, who someone else finds sexually attractive. Ain't none of yours either. Which leads to the second point. Why the hate?

Well, undoubtedly some are as Shakespeare noted, disgusted by the notion, convinced it is sinful or otherwise unnatural. However, the stigma attached to this particular "sin" is given a disproportionate amount of importance and reaction. I mean, Muslims and Jews both eschew pork and have for centuries (and for a far better reason), but when was the last time you heard of a pork farmer dragged behind the truck of irate rabbis?

I'm skeptical that the notion that someone is sinning (in ways that affect no one else in their daily lives, other than their lovers) would really engender this level of hatred and condemnation in most normal people given that few of us have gone through our lives without impinging on some of the commandments or sins of whatever religion we favor ourselves. I mean, shouldn't we be sin-free before we start gathering rocks? I know I'm not (sin-free or rock gathering).

I have my own ideas on why there's so much hatred here, theories, speculation and observations. But I'll save those for next time.