RS Classic: Saturday Quote-a-Thon - Movie Quotes

Gotta love the movies.

Still, since we’re in movie quote mode, I might as well show some quotes I keep on my quote list mostly ’cause they make me laugh. Some I gathered from Wikiquote at one point or another or from IMDB in the past. Some are from memory, so no promises I didn’t flub a couple, but you get the gist.

Ms. Perky: People perceive you as somewhat…
Kat: Tempestuous?
Ms. Perky: “Heinous bitch” is the term used most often. You might want to work on that.
-From 10 Things I Hate About You

Father: Hello, Kat, made anyone cry today?
Kat: Sadly, no, but it’s only 4:30.
-From 10 Things I Hate About You

Ms. Perky: You’ll be pleased to know his testicle retrieval operation was successful.
Kat: I still maintain he kicked himself in the balls.
-From 10 Things I Hate About You

Dionne Davenport: Hello! There was a stop sign.
Cher Horowitz: I totally paused.
-From Clueless

Josh Lucas: If I ever saw you do anything that wasn’t 90% selfish I’d die of shock.
Cher Horowitz: Oh, that’d be reason enough for me.
-From Clueless

Mel: Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt you would be missed.
-From Clueless

Morticia: Margaret, about the séance tonight, I wish you’d come. It’s Gomez. I’m terribly worried about him. He won’t eat, he can’t sleep, he keeps coughing up blood.
Margaret: He coughs up blood?
Morticia: Well, not like he used to.
-From The Addams Family

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.
-Mortimer Brewster in Arsenic and Old Lace

[on telephone] Hello… Operator? Can you hear my voice? You can? Are you sure? [Hangs up] Well, then I must not be dreaming.
-Mortimer Brewster in Arsenic and Old Lace

I love it when mothers get so mad they can’t remember your name. “Come here, Roy, er, Rupert, er, Rutabaga… what is your name, boy? And don’t lie to me, because you live here, and I’ll find out who you are.
-From Bill Cosby: Himself

Vance: [after telling Hitch that he only wants a girl so he can sleep with her] No, I was told that you help guys get in there.
Alex Hitch Hitchens: Right, but see, here’s the thing - my clients actually like women. “Hit it and quit it” is not my thing.
Vance: Let me make one thing clear to you, rabbi, I need professional help.
Alex Hitch Hitchens: Well, that is for damn certain
-From Hitch

Vance: [grabs Hitch by the wrist] You see what I’m doing? This is what I’m about - power suit, power tie, power steering. People can wince, cry, beg, but eventually they do what I want.
Alex Hitch Hitchens: Oh! So that’s, like, a metaphor?
Vance: Oh, yeah.
Alex Hitch Hitchens: Right. Well, see, I’m more of a literal kind of guy. So when I do this… [he reverses the grip, twists Vance’s arm back and slams him on the table]
Alex Hitch Hitchens: This is more like me saying that I will literally break your shit off if you ever touch me again. Okay, pumpkin?
-From Hitch

Moses - “The lord Jehovah has given you these fifteen… [drops stone tablet] Oi. Ten! Ten commandments for all to obey!”
-From History of the Word, Part I

Memo to me, memo to me: maim you after my meeting.
-From Hercules

This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather.
-From Groundhog Day

What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn’t one today.
-From Groundhog Day

Mr. Newberry: So, what have you been doing with your life?
Martin: Um… professional killer.
Mr. Newberry: Ah, good for you! It’s a growth industry
-From Gross Pointe Blank

Dr. Peter Venkman: Hey Egon, you know, this reminds me of the time that you tried to drill a hole through your head.
Dr. Egon Spengler: That would have worked if you hadn’t stopped me.
-From Ghostbusters

Chief Karlin: What’s your name?
Fletch: Fletch.
Chief Karlin: What’s your full name?
Fletch: Fletch F. Fletch.
Chief Karlin: What do you do for a living, Mr. Fletch?
Fletch: I’m a shepherd.
-From Fletch

Fletch: Can’t keep me here, chief.
Chief Karlin: Maybe I’m not going to keep you here. Maybe I’m going to blow your brains out.
Fletch: Well, now, I’m no lawyer, but… I do believe that’s a violation of my rights.
-From Fletch

Cameron: Ferris, my father loves this car more than life itself.
Ferris: A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn’t deserve such a fine automobile.
-From Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

Willie Wang: Why do I do all the dirty work, Pop?
Sidney Wang: Because your mother not here to do it.
-From Murder by Death

Willie Wang: Pop?
Sidney Wang: Yeah?
Willie Wang: Who do you think is the murderer?
Sidney Wang: Must sleep on it. Will know in morning when wake up.
Willie Wang: What if you don’t wake up?
Sidney Wang: Then you did it.
-From Murder by Death

Vinny: Ms. Vito, you’re supposed to be some kinda expert in automobiles, is that correct?… Is that correct?
Judge Haller: Would you please answer the counselor’s question?
Lisa: No, I hate him.
Vinny: Your Honor, may I treat this witness as hostile?
Mona Lisa: You think I’m hostile now? Wait ’til tonight.
Judge Haller: Do you two know each other?
Vinny: Yeah, she’s my fiancée.
Judge Haller: Well, that would certainly explain the hostility
-From My Cousin Vinny

You know, these clothes do not fancy you at all. It should be a dress or nothing. I happen to have no dress in my cabin.
-Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man’s Chest

I’m listening. [Elizabeth holds a gun to his face] I’m listening intently.
-Lord Becket from Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man’s Chest

Elizabeth: There will come a moment when you have a chance to do the right thing.
Jack: I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.
-From Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man’s Chest

Me, I’m dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It’s the honest ones you want to watch out for. Because you can never predict when they’re going to do something incredibly… stupid.
-Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Carribean: Curse of the Black Pearl

I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means no.
-Barbossa from Pirates of the Carribean: Curse of the Black Pearl

Self-realization. I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, when he said, “I drank what?”
-Chris Knight from Real Genius

Chris Knight: I’m sorry, but have you ever seen a body like this before in your life?
David Decker: She happens to be my daughter.
Chris Knight: Oh. Then I guess you have.
-From Real Genius

Karen: So what’s this big news, then?
Daisy: [excited] We’ve been given our parts in the nativity play. And I’m the lobster.
Karen: The lobster?
Daisy: Yeah!
Karen: In the nativity play?
Daisy: [beaming] Yeah, first lobster.
Karen: There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?
Daisy: Duh.
-From Love Actually

[talking about her ex-boyfriend]
Natalie: He says no one’s gonna fancy a girl with thighs the size of big tree trunks. Not a nice guy, actually, in the end.
Prime Minister: Ah! You know, um, being Prime Minister, I could just have him murdered.
Natalie: Thank you, sir. I’ll think about it.
Prime Minister: Do. The SAS are absolutely charming. Ruthless trained killers are just a phone call away.
-From Love Actually

Prime Minister: I’m not sure that politics and dating really go together.
The President: Really? I never found that.
Prime Minister: Yeah, well, the difference is you’re still sickeningly handsome, whereas I look increasingly like my Aunt Mildred.
-From Love Actually

Colin: [after insulting the food] And what do you do Nancy?
Nancy the caterer: I’m a cook.
Colin: Ever do weddings?
Nancy the caterer: Yes I do.
Colin: They should have asked you to do this one.
Nancy the caterer: They did.
Colin: God I wish you hadn’t turned it down.
Nancy the caterer: I didn’t.
-From Love Actually