>> Wednesday, September 30, 2009
"In a world without love, it is better to be dead." - Count Dracula, Love at First Bite
Old topic, often kicked around, but, hey, I’m a traditional kind of gal so I’m kicking it around again. Partly because I’m trying to understand things in my real life (though not all of these questions apply). Partly because I write characters and, if I have a skewed notion of love, it can warp my fiction.
So, since I have a blog devoted to answering your questions, in this one I’m posing a question. What is love to you?
Now, don’t panic. Such an open-ended question can be a brain-breaker so I’m going to give you some examples/more specific questions on what I mean and what I’m trying to understand.
- Do you think you can truly love someone without being vulnerable to hurt from them? In other words, can you protect yourself from any emotional harm from another person and still love them wholeheartedly?
- If you believe you can remain invulnerable and still love, what makes what you feel love? How do you know something’s love if another person has no power to affect your happiness?
- Do you think love is something you can dictate and control?
- Do you think self-sacrifice is an inherent part of love – putting someone else’s happiness above your own – or is that notion archaic, codependent and/or warped?
- Noting that everyone’s different, is there anything someone can do that would demonstrably prove (in your mind) he/she does not love someone else?
- Is there anything one can do that would demonstrably prove he/she does love someone else?
- What are the features in a love story, whether real or in fiction that you find most compelling?
- How important is physical love to romantic love? Can someone be physically unfaithful but emotionally faithful? Can someone be emotionally unfaithful but physically faithful? Which is more important? Why is faithfulness important and would it be less important if your partner were entirely honest about it?
- If you need/love someone more than he/she needs/loves you (even if he/she does need/love you), does that mean there is no real future for your relationship?
- Can two people define love differently and still be happy together? Or is that par for the course?