Thieving Thursday: Embarrassing Exes

>> Thursday, July 2, 2009

JD of I Do Things was explaining how she embarrassed her husband by telling "all" in her blog. Naturally, I had to mention that I did the same with my family members but no one could beat my ex-husband in generating embarrassing or idiotic episodes. A situation which my sister endorsed. Believe me, I spent many years apologizing for his

Naturally, JD called me on my assertion so it's time to prove it.

My is an undereducated, bullying, bigoted, rednecky numbskull. This situation is made worse because he didn't have to be. His father and his father's family are well educated, knowledgeable, reasonable, even exceptionally nice people. His mother, well-- (I've got stories there, too).

I can demonstrate his intelligence readily: He's a cop. He thinks seatbelts are dangerous.

There are plenty of examples of course, like the time he told his neighbor how "hilarious" it was watching a cat torn to shreds (yes, killed) by neighborhood dogs, knowing this same neighbor (another cop) had owned this cat. Yes, I did a great deal of apologizing.

But rather than focus on his lack of intelligence (or mine for living with him for twelve years), I'd like to focus on his gullibility. X and I were watching a Behind the Scenes show on the movie Willow. For those of you who haven't seen it, there are actual "little people" (people with drawfism) playing the halflings and a number of regular-sized people. There were also people playing brownies wherein, using movie magic, they were made to look about 8 inches tall.

Well, the running gag on this behind the scene show was the "good luck" in finding "ten inch tall" actors to play the brownies. This gag had been going on for some time and I'm laughing. I can't imagine anyone over the age of five falling for the obvious joke. At that moment, X turns to me, and in a voice of complete credulity, "Can you believe that? Imagine finding people ten inches tall like that!"

(And for those of you who think he might have been joking, let me tell you, it took me forty-five minutes to convince me he'd been had.)

Nope, he's not missed.


  • The Mother

    Damn, Stephanie. Congrats on getting out.

  • Susan Helene Gottfried

    Aww, come on! You miss laughing that much.

    Although, if I was you, that sort of idiocy would have moved me to murder.

    You are DEFINITELY better off without him. There are other ways to laugh.

  • Roy

    Yikes! Twelve years of that, huh? Oh well, look at it this way - you have an endless supply of stories to tell at parties.

  • flit

    I suspect he has some ~stuff~ in common with my ex, who would argue for his position no matter how illogical and ridiculous it was.

  • Daisy

    He sounds real mean! I'm glad you are away from him now.

  • Shakespeare

    Ooh, I'd love more stories! I only got glimpses of the man in a few summers. I especially liked the whole hopped up truck thing he used to drive, which he totaled more than once... or when he insisted on filling his gas tank while the truck was running (why oh why did it never explode?)... or how his resistance to wearing seatbelts was coupled by aggressive driving (including screaming out open windows at other drivers and never speeding by less then 20 mph)...

    Maybe we should have an "appreciate the hubby" day... for your second, infinitely more pleasant and intelligent hubby. He's AWESOME!!!!

  • Aron Sora

    It is stories like this which scare me away from dating.

  • flit

    some of us take more than one try to get it right, Aron... both Steph and I did much better on the second try though :)

  • Bob Johnson

    Lol, I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall during your 10" tall actor conversation.

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