Saturday Quote-a-thon: Mothers, Fathers, Ancestors

I doubt I have many of these, so I'll be pretty liberal about classification. Basically, if it references just about anything to do with family or those that came before, I'll consider it fair game.

One could not be a successful scientist without realizing that, in contrast to the popular conception supported by newspapers and mothers of scientists, a goodly number of scientists are not only narrow-minded and dull, but also just stupid.
-- J.D. Watson

World’s best guilt trip…
Saki: I see. Then, for her, this will truly be a lonely New Years. Until now, Tohru and her mother always spent New Years together, but this is the first years since her mother's death. This is the first New Year she will ever see without her loving mother at her side. Instead, she will have to spend this night alone. I offered to stay but she wouldn't hear of it, just smiled and told me I should be with my own family. But, what about her? What family does she have tonight? And how will she feel sitting there by herself remembering all the New Years she shared with her mother and will never share again? How will she feel with the New Years' bells begin to chime, the same bells she used to stay up late to hear with her mother?
Yuki: How did she feel, standing there as we were leaving?
Kyo: When she was smiling and waving goodbye...
Saki: Do you real think she'll be unaffected by all that? Do you really think she'll be alright?
Kyo: How does she feel right now?
Yuki: All alone in that house...
--From Fruits Basket anime

I love it when mothers get so mad they can't remember your name. "Come here, Roy, er, Rupert, er, Rutabaga... what is your name, boy? And don't lie to me, because you live here, and I'll find out who you are.”
--From Bill Cosby: Himself

Willie Wang: Why do I do all the dirty work, Pop?
Sidney Wang: Because your mother not here to do it.
--From Murder by Death

She's descended from a long line her mother listened to.
--Gypsy Rose Lee

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
--Ellen DeGeneris

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
--Mae West

To take from one, because it is thought his own industry and that of his fathers has acquired too much, in order to spare to others, who, or whose fathers, have not exercised equal industry and skill, is to violate arbitrarily the first principle of association, the guarantee to everyone the free exercise of his industry and the fruits acquired by it.
--Thomas Jefferson

My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
--Abraham Lincoln

And always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said, 'A truck!'
--Emo Phillips

Listen, lady. Just because my grandfather didn't rape the environment and exploit the workers doesn't make me a peasant. And it's not that he didn't want to rape the environment and exploit the workers; I'm sure he did. It's just that as a barber, he didn't have that much opportunity.
--Roger Cobb from All of Me

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.
--Mortimer Brewster in Arsenic and Old Lace

Cameron: Ferris, my father loves this car more than life itself.
Ferris: A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn't deserve such a fine automobile.
--From Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

"You are old, father William," the young man said,
"And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head--
Do you think, at your age, it is right?"

"In my youth," father William replied to his son,
"I feared it might injure the brain;
But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again."

"You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before,
And you have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door--
Pray what is the reason for that?"

"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
"I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment - one shilling a box--
Allow me to sell you a couple?"

"You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak--
Pray, how did you manage to do it?"

"In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life."

"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose--
What made you so awfully clever?"

"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"
Said his father. "Don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs.
--Lewis Caroll

The terrifying power of the human sex drive is horrifically demonstrated by the fact that someone was willing to father you.
--Ipso Fatso

Heck, I had more than I thought - I still have some. Good, now I'm covered for father's day.