WWW: Bumper Snickers and T-Shirt Slogans

So, since I'm off in the wild blue yonder this week, I'm going to keep it sort of brief when it comes to writing exercises. This doesn't have anything to do with being published, just about having fun with words and, one of my favorite things, humor. That and I need to lighten up from the last couple of days.

Now, who hasn't seen funny slogans on t-shirts and bumper stickers? Things that make you think or, more often, make you chuckle if not guffaw.

So, your assignment, if you should choose to accept it, is to think up some bumper stickers or t-shirt slogans that suit you or someone in your family. The more perfectly they fit your chosen subject the better. Here are some that come to mind for me:

Don't piss me off. I write novels and I'm always looking for names.

Caution: Able to insult you so you don't even know it happened.

Dieting: Snarkiness will get you deep fried and eaten.

For my husband:

Sure I'm short, but not all men waste their inches on height.

I may not look like a dragon but I have the same sexual appetite.

It doesn't matter if you're high maintenance as long as you're worth it.

For my teenage daughter:

I'd tell you you just don't understand, but you wouldn't understand.

It's not that I want money, it's that I want stuff that costs money - and don't want you to have to buy it for me.

Like you were ever a teenager!

For my son:

Did you think you were in charge?

Beelzeboy

Blue eyes? Check
Dimples? Check
Cuddler? In excellent shape.
Good, now to show Mom what I broke this time.

And, for my baby girl:

Don't pinch my cheek. I can overflow a diaper at will.

Reaching cuteness critical mass. Bring me mud, stat! (Not that it will help - I just like it)

Enslavement alert: Do not look directly at baby.

Now, you try.